What Tara Westover' Book taught me
I have never had this before, but after reading EDUCATED — Westover, T. (2018). Educated. (Random House) — from Tara Westover I understood what this is about.
I bought the book in the beginning of February this year and, even though I knew this was a bestseller book, by the NY Times, by Bill Gates and that the author had been in many TV shows talking about it, I couldn’t imagine it would have such an effect on me as well.
No, I’m not a Mormon and I didn’t go through any abusive situation when I was growing up (spoiler alert!) but what Tara describes in her story and how she’s gone through everything and became Dr. Tara Westover just builds a genuine connection.
What is a “Book Hangover”, anyway?
It’s a a term used to express the feeling you get after finish reading a book and feel a strong attachment to the story you have just read and can’t get over it — you are basically stuck in the story and often cannot stop thinking about it. People report missing a specific character or the environment they have read as one of the main symptoms.
I knew the term, of course, and I could understand as they describe some of these symptoms, but I could only realize what they meant when I experienced it myself. It’s somehow strange and powerful the effect it causes — I have googled the author, the characters, the place, have watched videos, have seen her interviews — anyway, I was triggered by the story and how the relationships we have with our family and the environment we are inserted in can shape and influence our lives in such massive way.
My hangover experience with “Educated”
Since I started reading “Educated” I got attached to the story Tara was describing. In some parts I couldn’t believe what I was reading — how could that be true in the 21st century and have happened to a young child / teenager while parents were in denial — worse, actively decided not to believe her? How could she not realize the toxic environment she was growing up in, why couldn’t she break from it sooner, how could she imagine this might not be what actually happened and how could the family break up in that way? (more spoilers, sorry!).
As the story was unfolding I felt anger, anxiety, happiness and sympathy. I have even cried in some parts of the book — I’m not the type of person who cries reading, but this one, had strong passages — and the power of the story, for me, is the meaning behind going through all of this to find herself in peace with her past and able to live her future in the way she believes is the right one for her.
My takeaways?
The relationship between who you truly are and how external players can factor in: Tara’s story highlights some important aspects of defining ourselves and how we are all shaped by the environment and the experiences we live. However, they are not the determining part of oneself. In her memoir, Tara reflects on the choices she’s made and how those defined who she actually is. I found particular strength in two passages which I have highlighted for myself:
“The most powerful determinant of who you are is inside of you” said her Cambridge professor in one of the chapters. The other insight was “ Emancipate yourself from the mental slavery” which is a sentence in a Bob Marley’ song, and the meaning she find with that “None, but ourselves can free our minds”.
The role of education in development: education plays a particular and crucial role in her story, she was a stranger to many subjects and important moments in history — like the episode in which she asks a question about the Holocaust because she simply had no idea of what it was or the depth of the civil rights movement in the US — and even though she went to University to study music, she could broaden her spectrum into other subjects and find her passion in history.
The points above are just some of many insights I took from reading her experience and living it in my head: the power of believing in yourself, even through times of challenge, the power of resilience, the ability to bounce back and follow through and, the power of staying true to yourself are for me, lessons we all need, and I’m sure these are also good reasons for having a hangover, right?
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